This poem is the depiction of the emotions and chemical reactions my body and mind encountered due to the conflict in my mind, over the existence of meaning in life. This question coupled with the desire to understand my mind had driven me crazy, unable to find answers. Finally my intellect comes to salvage, and I drop the desire to comprehend my mind, drop the desire to ask the question of existence of meaning in life, because I realize its not a question to be asked but to be answered...
So bemused, so frightened, uneasy conscious,
Petrified by the power of itself, so innocuous.
Emotions demure, flow through the pen,
Amidst the trumpet of silence and quiver;
Without an inkling its intimate self,
Suffocates it with suffusing power.
So hapless, so impotent, the victim suffered,
With none to blame, self harassed self-tortured.
Pushing itself into the darkest recess,
All light sucked out, hollow inside;
Forcefully diving in the ocean of pain,
Happy hormones swept, away by the tide.
Thoughts of defeat overflows from the eyes,
In effort to hold the last breath, vanity cries.
Aware of the scarce sense of the self imposed dementia,
‘Enough!’ yells the intellect, no longer stoical;
As enlightened as always, consciously proactive,
Decides to take the reins, responsibly practical.
So powerful is the mind, power that flows through the brain,
So incomprehensible is the mind, in the reins of the brain you can train.
All cynicism, all skepticism, consciously sidelined,
No doubts that one doesn’t have to find meaning in life,
Cause meaning is not to be found, but to be created,
With principles, with focus, with an endless strife.
---Shashwat
5 comments:
see shash- uhhh- forgive me if i sound harsh but is dis a poem? seriosuly speaking writing in times of turmoil might sound like an alimony wid emotions but it is tougher than wat meets the eye. wat i can decipher here is a heap of thoughts- lots of things u wanna say but sometimes metaphor- one of the strongest weapons poetry heralds- isnt exactly the right choice.
i find a monotonous repetition of ideas n words thruout, which seems to b calling out n appealing for attention- n am glad u did tat coz not once hv dose ideas been so spot-on tat they wld press for essence.
everytime u end a para ur taglines appear so just edit tat out.
i dont see y demure emotions need to cry out so much- i mean cmon- dey need to b daft, crazy n piercing to call for de pen to flow.
if de power is suffusing shldnt it help in lowering the dose? cos u r at the same time elevating the strength of the cervix.
i wld say u lost out on wat wld hv been a brilliant build up in the midst of de poem wen u went for the same pain-load again by diving into the ocean while u cld hv brought about a strong wave of resurrection by actually being more refined by drowning there n elaborating de context.
de words r too scientific n mechanical especially since u r stressing on emotions. u shld be able to build a link between parts n ideas by linking underlying notions n not by repetition of the same as u hv done in happy hormones instead of happiness.
i dont know if u meant it tat way but if u did- vanity crying tryin to stop its fallacy from eroding off is a good idea- sad u dint find tat amusing enuf to continue wid.
consciously proactive, responsibly practical - man these r stating the obvious. brain train though u might not hv intended its rhyme is too gawky for me.
overall i would say- lot of ideas but this is poetry not painting. in the latter, depicting them is prima facie - its all in the colors. but poetry has to be psychedelic, a step above even for basic interpretation- it has to arouse those emotions which colors wld, generally. its a potent tool but very few can master it.
a mosaic of lost expressions- some signs of harmony which r sucked n overpowered by the huge dormant parts that shldnt hv existed. i guess u urself got lost between the mind and the brain.
From the poet: Thanks for u comment
Ill accept that monotonous repetition of ideas criticizm.
Yeah but demure emotions crying out, suffusing power suffocating, are purposeful antithetical ideas I have introduced to justify the confusion that prevailed in my befuddled mind state.
The happy hormones line and the ocean-tide lines were purposeful tho scientific and mechanical. They reflect my personality.
Though Ill consider ur view about linking underlying notions. You know i am learning.
Thanks for the honest opinions, Ill surely try to better myself and make sure I am in a better state of mind then that I am depicting
i meant tat even to depict mechanical n scientific ideas there has to b harmony not mechanical or scientific wrds.
need more ppl like u... oders just dont see the underlying essence n jump to conclusions. nice to see u take things in de right spirit. n tat for me is much more imp in a human dan his knowedge or skills.
To be very frank, you might be quite sick of this by now(!), but I understand exactly what and how you are trying to put things across. My only concern is that the use of too many fancy words distracts the reader from the true, simple message that is waiting to be conveyed but is hidden amidst an array of exagerated thoughts and words. Infact, I'd go a step further to add that even the comment, by ace, is a little too pompous. I kknow I might be sounding quite arrogant by now, but honestly, it seems as if you are (both)getting lost in your thoughts and emotions and are trying maybe just a little too hard.
On the upside, I too absolutely love using exotic words and get that feel out of my work, you know, that passion that can only come by that choice of vocab. But it so happens that most of the times only the poet gets as much satisfaction and upheavel of emotions after reading the poem than any ordinary layman.
So that was my first impression.
My second impression, after re-reading, brought me to the conclusion that it is a VERY good piece of work, well-written and depicted. The thoughts are real and consistent, just a little disorderly, but I think in this case that what makes for a good read as the aching reality comes out. It just fails to touch the reader in the first go but I understand where you are coming from. :D
hey stuti, tx for leaving that comment...this piece of work was not made for people to understand originally...it was to give a vent to you know what...
So I guess I accept that usage of words is a bit fancy and emotions become hidden under them...but u will agree I couldn't use more precise words for the emotions...
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